Ten Pieces of Life Advice for New Working Moms

If you’ve just embarked on the hectic, crazy, wonderful journey that is motherhood, you might be feeling a little overwhelmed. And that’s completely normal! While being a new mom is one of the most amazing experiences in the world, it can also be isolating and intense. But you should know, you’re not alone. I’ve been there, and I have some tips to share. Here are my top ten:

1. Find a support network.

‍This could be a facebook group, a mom play group that happens in real life, or a national mom group like MOPS. Many local hospitals also offer sign-ups for new mom groups. The newborn phase is a really important time to form new friendships that will serve you well for years to come. Because everyone around you is also in a vulnerable state, it's an easy time to form deep connections with other new moms.

2. Know you will never be “less busy”.

It's easy to say: I’ll work out later, make friends later, organize the pantry later. If you find yourself saying, “I’ll do it when I have more time,” remember this:  you won’t. If it’s important to you, try to make time for it now.  And if you can’t find time to do it now, it might not be something worth doing (see tip 3).

3. Lower your bar.

We live in a world with significant pressure from work, our social lives and more. When we jump into motherhood, many of us try to take on the same “do the most” mindset. But here’s the fact of the matter: there’s a lot of stuff that simply doesn’t need to be done. You don’t need to wash the floor every week. You don’t need to re-organize the garage. You don’t need to do your hair and a full face of makeup every day. Pick and choose what’s important to you, and don’t feel guilty about not getting to the rest.

4. Outsource tasks that don’t bring you joy.

If you have disposable income, use it to buy back some of your time. If you don’t find joy in doing the laundry, outsource it. Lots of things can be outsourced these days, from grocery shopping (Amazon Fresh, Instacart) to building new furniture or mowing the lawn (Taskrabbit). Use the time you save to make room for things that bring you joy.

5. Make a NOT to-do list.

This is a combination of 3 and 4. There are very likely things in your life that suck up your time and don’t bring you joy. Take a few minutes to find these, write them down, and then keep the list near you to remind you what you will NOT be doing with your precious time. Some things that might be on your not to-do list: scrolling Facebook, watching mindless TV, talking on the phone with your parents everyday because you feel you “have to”.

6. Choose to under-react.

As a new mom (or a mom in general!), it's so easy to overreact. Things will go wrong. Schedules and plans will need to be changed. Focus on under-reacting. You can even say it out loud. “I choose to under-react to this situation.” Take a beat and a deep breath, and focus on the bigger picture.

7. Invest in great Childcare.

I founded DreamCare because I mentored so many women and discovered that flexible and dependable childcare was the secret to career success. The most flexible and dependable childcare is live-in childcare. Why? A live-in caregiver means no snow days, no driving to daycare, no keeping your kid home because they’re sick…again. If you’d like to learn more about how DreamCare can help you with your childcare needs, visit www.dreamcare.com

8. Have a first-aid kit for your emotional well-being.

When I get upset, overwhelmed, or frustrated, I “get some water”. This means I take a shower, wash my hands, or give my kid a bath. The water always calms me down and gives me a reset. What brings you a second of peace? Is it a walk around the block? A healthy snack? Find some tools for your emotional toolkit, and don’t be afraid to use them.

9. Prioritize Self Care.

What makes you feel good? Do you love to go to Target?—Yes, I am such a mom that I consider going to Target alone self-care! For you, is it getting your nails done? Having lunch with a friend?  Make sure you know what makes you feel good, and then budget time away from your baby and away from your partner to make it happen.

10. Know that everything is temporary, and this period will pass too.

Having a newborn is a particularly intense period of motherhood. One day, you’ll look back on this time and have fond memories. But right now, it might feel like the opposite. So, remember: one day, you won’t think about the days you cried out of frustration or loneliness, or because you were overwhelmed. You’ll remember the way your body felt when you held your baby, and the joy of new life in your arms.

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